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Windows Internal Database Maintenance

“Windows Internal Database,”  is basically SQL Server with network access and the maintenance tools turned off.  You might want to do maintenance on whatever’s in there, anyway.  I use Windows Task Scheduler for that, at least until I move the...

True Confessions

I run Nagios at home.  It texts me when my machines need patches. I told this to a charming gentleman who was my dinner companion for the evening and he gave me a look that implied that I was not all there.  (He’s a Nagios admin, too, but not willingly.)  I...

Clearly, you’re doing it wrong.

So, I have this friend.  (No, really, it’s my friend, it’s not me, I set up my own Nagios server.)  She’s a DBA with no responsibility for anything outside of a bunch of SQL Servers. Nagios wakes her up in the middle of the night if the web server...

Tracking total file usage, DBs only.

Yes, I’ve been bad about updating.  I was traumatized by a bunch of friends getting laid off from a former employer, and then I had two very busy weeks. This system of tracking total file usage, DBs only, came up talking to someone recently (Eric, are you...

Happy Memorial Day!

Happy Memorial Day!  Plant is going to hold their annual George Forman Memorial Cookout in your server room this weekend.  Tom Limoncelli explains why here. When your pager goes off and you call them to tell them the AC failed again this year, tell them the least they...

Your Servers’ Baby Monitor

Do you know about Write or Die?  It’s described as “putting the prod into productivity” and is for procrastinating writers to force themselves to write.  (Writers procrastinate.  It’s a thing.  You can spend hours surfing the web for baby name...

A one-time use script.

This isn’t the entire thing, it’s bits and pieces, but it’s enough for you to bend, fold, spindle, and mutilate for your own purposes. I was given 70,000+ tab delimited lines that were output dumped from a program and asked to find out what version...

Confessions of a Monitoring Junkie

You may be asking yourself, “Self, why should I cough up cash for SQL Monitor or spend time (or pay someone to spend time) setting up Nagios?” The answer, of course, is:  Do you want to know something is wrong now, or when a customer calls you and says...

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