So, um, I have this friend… *shifty eyes*

So, I have this friend *cough* who had a domain controller that needed a new motherboard. Due to the excitement of the hardware vendor’s tech forgetting to reattach the RAID, then the server no longer recognizing its network cards, and then the tech realizing...

Generic Backups

I support developers.  In our dev/QA environment, people add, delete, and change the recovery model of databases all the time without telling me.  How do I keep track of which databases need to be backed up? I don’t.  I back up everything. Master has information...

Seekrit Message to a Friend

You didn’t get this from me.  You downloaded it off the internet. In fact, why don’t I turn that bunch of scripts into a series of jobs and give it to you as one big lump?  (Download.) How to use: Load file into SQL Server Management Studio. Replace all...

Never throw away a script!

You never know when you’re going to have to plagiarize yourself. Seriously, I just repurposed the “migrate databases to new drives” script to be a “migrate databases to a new server” script.  Rather than starting from scratch, I changed a...

Windows Internal Database Maintenance

“Windows Internal Database,”  is basically SQL Server with network access and the maintenance tools turned off.  You might want to do maintenance on whatever’s in there, anyway.  I use Windows Task Scheduler for that, at least until I move the...

A one-time use script.

This isn’t the entire thing, it’s bits and pieces, but it’s enough for you to bend, fold, spindle, and mutilate for your own purposes. I was given 70,000+ tab delimited lines that were output dumped from a program and asked to find out what version...

Nagios Plugin – SQL Job Status

I checked out Nagios Exchange, and didn’t see anything that checked the status of a job and used Windows/AD credentials/trusted connection.  So I wrote this. It’s intended to run as an NRPE script, and doesn’t require anything that doesn’t come...

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